The Ballad of Phil's Fortune

You know the tune; if not, fake it . . .

Let me tell you all a story ‘bout a man named Phil
He built himself a business from a tiny molehill
Then one year after working quite a while
He said to himself, “Hey, I’ve built me up a pile.”

Now his friends all said, “Phil, you’ve gotta have a Board.
If you wanna grow, you gotta know how to go forward.”
So he brought on three Directors from all across the land
And he paid ‘em all big bucks to give him a hand.

Big bucks – to advise
Because their CVs said: these guys are wise
And smart
And been around
Around.
Yeah.

Well the first Director said, “Phil, you need a consultant.”
While the second one said, “And of course a President.”
And the third one said, “With my colleagues I agree,
So we made a Search Committee and the President is me.”

The new President he said, “Phil, I need a free hand
And so the Board has voted, I hope you understand
That we’ll keep you on the Org Chart high and pretty
But really all decisions now they’re really made by me.”

The President, top man
Promised money in Phil’s hand
In a while
It takes time
To plan.
Yeah.

Now the President he brought in all of his new Team
Looked an awful lot like his old company
He said to Phil, “Your old crew, they have gotta go:
We need new blood and anyway it’s my choice you know.”

And he gave them all great salaries, big bucks for each man
And they made pie charts and tall graphs they called The Super Plan
And they promised Phil more money than he would ever want
As he sits in his big office growing old and looking gaunt.

Phil, that is – alone now
Everyone else is new
Laid off the old crew
And the factory too
Offshore.
Yeah.

Well now this is where we say goodbye to our friend Phil
The President and Board have bulldozed Phil’s molehill
The Super Plan went a-bust and led to bankruptcy –
But they all had golden parachutes and are happy as can be.

The Board and President and New Team Super Plan!
Heading on to New Horizons!
Brought to you by the cash flow from Phil’s molehill
And all those managers and workers and friends
Who put in twenty years on that molehill
And now have –

Yeah.