Answers You Shouldn't Give

It is naturally expected that a question seeks an answer - that a statement demands a response - that a business runs on rapid response.

The Cube warns: Not so fast.

Through sad experience, The Cube has learned to treat almost all questions, statements and Pay Attention To Me management comments as rhetorical - as in "Listen only to what I say - no matter the what, regardless of the facts - do not answer - because I want to hear the sound of my own voice."

This knowledge was not learned overnight, and The Cube admits to many an unintended career change as a result of answering some of the following:

Director: "This report for the Board: keep it simple."
Cube: "For simple minds."

Observation: Correct analysis, wrong to say it aloud.

VP: "Just because it was in the Review agenda doesn't mean you gave it enough emphasis."
Cube: "Look, I'm sorry you didn't do your part of the job, but the rest of us-"

Observation: 'Never got to finish the sentence - don't tell a VP he's a slacker.

New Pres: "We have to up the profit margin by reaching for the low-hanging fruit."
Cube: "Grab us by the balls, cut benefits and lay off entire shifts."

Observation: Correct forecasting does not prevent personal castration. We are all "fruit."