When You're Gone #1: Sick

When you're not at work unexpectedly - sick - it can usually be counted on that:
a) You missed the important meeting that was circled twice on your calendar;
b) You have been needed at least twice by higher-ups who don't notice you any other day;
c) You did not get any of the free food doled out after the Executive Lunch was cancelled (sometimes related to b), above);
d) You get emails expressing sympathy from coworkers that it's "too bad you're 'sick' today (heh, heh)";
e) You receive phone calls from work asking "Can you just take care of this?" that always come during those few moments of relief when you are not wishing you were dead and are vulnerable to guilt feelings (Note: timeing is often coupled with shame that you are enjoying the TV soap operas) - you foolishly agree and work harder from your sickbed than if you'd been at the office;
f) You didn't miss anything at work, despite all of the above; and
g) You go back to work a day too early to show that you are "responsible" - thereby either:
*** spreading your disease amongst co-workers, or
if you cover up your misery with good cheer,
*** confirming to coworkers that you really were "sick" yesterday.