The Level of Theft Makes It ALL Right

'Story in the newspaper about a couple of GIs formerly in Iraq about to do some hard time for keeping $25K or so each of found Saddam loot. It is importantly to remember that We do not loot: that money was intended for rebuilding the country - and, of course, the "reform" Iraqi officials who needed their cut before it got to the country. Stupid sergeants, corporals and privates: what did they think they were doing. More important: What were they thinking, period?!? It's all about rank, the last vestige of the systems of royalty, caste and class level.

'Much like in the workplace. Alejandro has been fired recently for theft: thieving cholo had a box of surgical gloves in his trunk, taken from the restroom. OK, so he was going to use them to work on his car over the weekend and didn't want the dirty oil ground into his skin for when he returned to work on Monday and had to handle some pristine medical products. OK, OK, so maybe he intended to bring back what was left (if he remembered). OK, OK, OK - BUT: he can't take $10.00 worth of supplies from the company. That's petty theft, employee theft, pilfering, and so forth and it costs industry billions a year. Zero Tolerance. He's just lucky no charges were proffered.

And it's on a completely different level from field reps Larry, Moe and Curly's $500 use of the company credit card for meals at the Mystery Dinner Theater in Orlando, a necessary expense while they explained our company's products to Minnie, Mina and Mona, our buxom trade show babes, albeit four days into the trade show and roughly 12 to 6 hours (it was a loooong night session for some) before the show was closing down at 9 a.m. next morn. Those are overhead costs.

Speaking of which, overhead, no one should even consider questioning the top five head honchos on the $1.5 million in quarterly bonus fees paid out to themselves for... for... for simply working here. These are high upkeep executives who could go anywhere - but we have attracted them - and it should not be a part of the equation that the company lost money last year.

Besides, there are role models to emulate. The U.S. Senator from Alaska this week who proudly, defiantly, screamed "No!" to suggestions that a recent Transportation Bill be amended to re-direct a $ billion or so from an Alaskan bridge that would service fifty people and "misuse the money, MISUSE, that's what it is!" by spending it on hurricane-devastated New Orleans.

Stupid, stupid soldiers and line employees: there are levels of theft and, if you are on the lower levels, you are a thief. Please take these Notes from The Cube to heart: you are a thief.