Write It Down: How To Get Away With Anything

Pierre Dolet writes to Notes From The Cube . . .
[And The Cube notes: 'Old saw to grind, but a new perspective.]

It was discovered today that the simplest way to get away with anything is to write down whatever you want, want to do, or say you did - then circulate it. No one will read it, most will act as if they "did," and those who are arrogant or foolish enough to pretend "I never got it" can be cowed into submission by showing the top page with their name on the CC list.

This must be so: We sat in a monthly cross-departmental policy meeting this morning and four times the comment came up from several voices: "I wasn't informed of this."

Frankly, this was a patented lie. But, these being top execs making the comment, no one could say that out loud.

So, the first time, the issue was deferred yet another month while the protesting exec was given time to review the report that he "had not received yet." This happened two more times in the next half hour. The herd instinct, probably.

Then we hit upon an interesting moment. All present had attended a certain strategic meeting in which tentative decisions were made, but our department had gone ahead and finalized the decision - and taken action. Now that item came up on the agenda. I could see the second-guessers marshalling their objections, so I added while introducing it: "...and we circulated the final version for your approvals, in the memo of X/29, with the notice that any input would have to be received by Wednesday, since you had all agreed that it would go out by Friday."

Now, this statement was not an outright lie - but it was a calculated risk. It assumed that:
1) No one remembered what they said at the certain meeting referred to.
2) No one read the Minutes from that certain meeting - and had probably deleted it from their emails or filed it in a slush pile of at least a gigabyte size.
3) No one read the memo that we circulated soliciting input - that included the final version that went out on Friday.

BUT THAT'S NOT ALL:

As the first "ahem" coughed its way into an introductory "I never received...," I also said "- and it was hand delivered to the distribution list: the final version covers the several inputs received."

Now this put them on the defensive: apparently Everyone Got This and Everyone But Me read the materials and responded - or so I lied.

Yes, everyone got it - put onto their IN boxes on top of a slush pile that I knew no one read - and the "several inputs" were all from the same person.
But it worked. None of the execs regularly keeps track of memos, reports and written communications in general that do not affect their immediate (immediate) interests; they literally don't know what is on their desks. Now, this rarely stops them before from commenting on matters they haven't the slightest idea about - but this instance was a fait accompli, a done deal, and (supposedly) they had already given the "Go" at an earlier meeting.

Or so I told them. . .

I don't plan on using this strategy often. Twice more in this morning's meeting decisions were deferred because "I never got anything on this" was the lied excuse - and I'm not in a position high enough on the food chain to call them on it. Still, my epiphany was as bright as the morning sunshine this A.M.: whenever I have a dicey item to be moved past, I will put it in written form and can fairly well guarantee that it will not be read. Much, much better than an oral report that requires of the executive only seat-of-the-pants consideration and decision-making.