Disciplinary Review, Part 2: shoot the company in its own foot

[A Note from The Cube: 'Still looking over what happened last Wednesday-Thursday-Friday.]

Once upon a time, oh about 9 years ago, The Cube was in a company where a secret takeover resulted in 80% of the workforce being given 30 minutes notice to clear their desks and leave. This happened on a Friday morning at 11 a.m. It affected all levels and even the survivors did not know it was about to happen, so there were no managers wandering about with dour faces before the fact, no secretarial rumours bouncing off the cubicle walls. All computers were disconnected from the company network while we were in the lunchroom being given the notice. All over and done with. Slam. Bam. Thank you, ma'am. The Cube had been working with a Marketing team making the last tweaks on a prepaid $50K magazine ad for an upcoming series of trade shows, final final deadline due by 1 p.m. Pissed away. Realizing their haste mistakes, over the next month the New Regime hired back a number of people as "consultants" at double and triple their salaries (needless to say, there was no good will offering of help), fighting a rear guard action to keep the company from hemorrhaging a million $$$$ worth of Product, R&D and Marketing assets.

So it was that Friday, two days after Wednesday's Disciplinary Review, seemed very deja vu.

It may have been observed that The Cube was very busy of late, most noticeably in a position of "pre-legal" responsibility that recognized over the past couple of years that: (a) The company lawyer had given the same advice on the same subjects many times; (b) The Cube had kept organized notes of the lawyer's advice and could provide them at request for executive review; and (c) The Cube's reports and analyses provided to the lawyer had apparently been cut-and-pasted into his documents verbatim of late. As a result, The Cube has been tasked with keeping the Company "on message" re: the lawyer's advice and has participated in (read: initiated, coordinated and lead in all but name) several active communications, actions and responses of an expensive nature - with the lawyer, with competitors, with potential strategic alliances to COMPANIES much larger than our Company.

At the same time, The Cube has inadvertently (and against my will) become knowledgeable in ISO, CE, UL, DoD and FDA ways and means.

On Friday the Company was simultaneously being audited by one of the Regulatory agencies and - it doesn't rain but it pours - the President of a Major Company telephoned in response to one of The Cube's alliance reach-outs several months in the effort. Two different departments, two different Veeps. Some important shit going down. The Cube was busy.

However, neither Veep was The Cube's Veep - these were loan-out activities - nor did they fall under the realm of the Offended Veep of two days earlier. But, there had been silence since the Disciplinary Review of two days before, faces had smiled at The Cube, work had continued at its frenzied pace. . .

Can you see where this is going?

11:15 a.m.

Moments after delivering a hand-notated procedural document to the Regulatory Auditor, and literally in the middle of the conference call between the Prez of the Major Company, our Biz Development Veep and myself, The Cube was asked by his "official" Veep to step outside the room for a moment. With notes in hand, The Cube stepped outside.

And into an immediate, out-the-front door, One Week Suspension.

The Biz Development Veep, who was waiting for The Cube (and the notes) to return, tried to stall, unaware of the "official" decision/action made. His phone call reached The Cube's cellphone on the drive back home. "It was an embarrassment," he moaned. "We looked like fools." So much for that avenue of strategic alliance.

The Regulatory Auditor, demanding certain procedural explanations and having no one to provide them, placed the Company on a Restriction until a written answer is given: Deadline - one week. A lawyer at roughly 12 times The Cube's hourly salary has been given The Cube's annotated procedural notes and asked to review and respond. So much for producing any product lines according to that procedure for the near future.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

The Cube is not that important to the Company, just part of a support team. But, sometimes, support is important.

Apparently, though, sometimes it is also deemed important for the Company to shoot itself in its own foot.

The Cube is on Disciplinary Suspension for the week, so the next few Notes will be from contributors still in their cubicles.