Conflict Management: Solutions

Hank Gerber writes his Notes from the Cube . . .

Ideas that came out from a seminar on "Conflict Management."

Amid all of the seminar-endorsed approaches and the hours-long discussions of how we can manage/control/diffuse conflict, the following ideas were developed by the working groups we were broken in to. (Note: not necessarily endorsed by the seminar leader.):

Fake it until you make it. (i.e., When the conflict is management-origined, plan on getting out of there ASAP on your own terms - a better, or at least comparable, job elsewhere. Not, as it turns out, an uncommon situation. This idea actually was endorsed by the the seminar leader, a smart cookie.)

Grow up and live with it. (Mainly men - but also a lot of women 40 and over who know who they are.)

Grow up, blow up, and forget it once it's past. (Variation on the above. A lot of people, actually, seem to understand that sometimes venting is "natural." No one from the HR departments endorsed this approach, though.)

Is it "conflict" if you are from New York? (A regional observation. Variations included: "I'm Italian and you think this is a loud voice? I'm Jewish and you think... Etc.)

Ex-Lax. (Don't ask.)

A sledgehammer to the head. (My suggestion about a co-worker of one group who had screwed up to the tune of $50K and $30K each year past - but who, every 3-4 weeks, started interminable arguments insisting he was right. They had come to the conclusion to fire the guy, but I am too kind-hearted and pointed out it would hurt his feelings. The sledgehammer, meanwhile.... You have to understand that, from the way they described the guy, he seems to be indestructible.)