They Missed Me

It's satisfying to be wanted: the desk piled high with Incoming, the voicemail filled with Requests, the email mailbox filled to capacity, and the gratified looks that say: You've been gone a week - we've missed you.

Actually, they haven't missed me. Not one whit. They just acted as if I was still here and piled all this crap on daily without regard to the email Office Assistant telling them Out Of Office, ears stone-deaf to the voicemail instant message repeating On Vacation, and legally blind to the big Big BIG SIGN taped to the chair with the oh-so-cutesy message from Ellen, the office secretary, saying He's Gone Fishin'.

But they missed me! They really missed me!