Avoided eMails Bite the Butt

Ohhh was I smart not to read my late-afternoon Friday emails: they would have sent my head spinning through the roof!

A "flurry" of emails always indicates one of two things:
1. A joke that everyone sends to everyone else, ignoring the fact that their names were already on the distribution list of the email they received containing the joke in the first place; or
2. Accelerating hysteria on some issue that nobody has bothered to get the facts about, opinions being easier to cite than research.

Since jokes don't make my head spin off, accelerated hysteria was the criminal this time.

The head spinning has to do with the fact that I have already written four reports on the topic (in descending order: the original researched info compilation, a summary of the research info, an analysis, and a summary of the analysis). The hysteria came from the fact that Veeps apparently have the collective memory of a ferret: no one appears to remember a thing that was contained in the reports already received.

Wait!, oh, stupid me: memory's not the problem. I forgot Rule #1: IF YOU WRITE IT, IT WILL NOT BE READ.

We are now scheduled on Tuesday to have a special teleconference with an attorney on the topic. Let's ignore the fact that the research reports were derived from the attorney's analysis of the situation in the first place. He has his own Rule #1, too: At $400/hour, 15 minutes minimum charge, I will listen to any redundant, ill-considered or stupid questions asked.

His Rule #2 makes even more sense: At $400/hour, 1 hour minimum, I will research any topic, even if I have already reported on it.